Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dear Ruth Ellen....


Dear Ruthie,


I am so thrilled that you have appropriately formed the mother-child bond! It makes my heart sing that you want to be with me. But, I promise you, I will come back for you. When I drop you off in nursery at church, I will come back. When I go to put a load of laundry in the washing machine, I will come back. When I walk out the front door to let the dogs outside, I will come back. This is not a permanent situation. So, the complete and utter melt-downs that occur when I leave your eye sight are really unnecessary. You know what I am talking about. The thrashing of your body against the door, the high pitched screaming followed by the hyperventilating sniffling. I carried you for 37 weeks and 4 days. I puked for a solid 16 of those weeks. I endured hemorrhoids for you. I pumped every 3 hours for 6 months to provide food for you. I paid THOUSANDS of dollars in medical bills to ensure that you stay with me. I have spent countless hours at Vanderbilt for you. If I was going to leave you, I would have left you around the hemorrhoid phase of my pregnancy. I promise I will come back and get you. So, take a deep breath. Eat your snack trap. The time will come soon enough where you will want nothing to do with me.

Love,

Momma

6 comments:

Beth said...

Hilarious!

sarahbethrucker said...

too funny!

Danielle said...

Absolutely cracks me up!!! My time will come soon enough. At least I HOPE he loves me that much!! :)

marathonmommy said...

Right there with ya. Does that mean I have to endure at least 4 more months of this at a minimum? Dear me....

Elizabeth said...

I laughed out loud through that whole thing! Hilarious... This too shall pass!

Kerry said...

That made my day!